The Quiet Man
by stexgirl2000
Summary: For Hoshi, Malcolm breaks his silence.


Title:The Quiet Man  
  
Author:Stexgirl2000  
  
Archive: Permission to archive granted to EntSTCommunity, Linguistics Database, and Luminosity. All others must ask.  
  
Category: Romance  
  
Rating: PG-13 (for language)  
  
Pairing:R/S Summary:The cost of silence, the need for friendship, the repairing of love.  
  
Beta: Un-Beta'd  
  
Spoilers: A small one for "Horizon." Very small.  
  
Disclaimer:Horror! Star Trek or Enterprise doesn't belong to me. It's Paramount's--damn it! I wrote this for my own enjoyment.  
  
Author's notes: Un-beta'd. Any mistakes are my own. Kind of inspired by Taryn Eve's story What Your Muse Brings You and the discussion of the story. And yes, this is the title to the John Wayne movie, but this has nothing to do with the movie. On second thought, maybe it does. Not sure. Let me know what you think.  
  
The Quiet Man  
  
He knew that he was a quiet man. Silence was an integral part of who he was and what he did. Security people did not speak of inconsequential things, nor did they divulge information that was important, unless absolutely necessary. Why waste words when actions would do? Why say something if it led to chaos?  
  
Silence equaled patience. Silence equaled safety. Silence made life easier.  
  
It is better to be silent than say anything you'll regret.  
  
Or so he once thought. He wasn't so sure anymore.  
  
Yet, like a drowning man thrown a life-preserver, he held onto his silence tightly.  
  
From across the messhall, he could feel Hoshi's eyes tracking him. For three days they hadn't spoke outside of being on duty. Three days since making love in her quarters and what she said and what he didn't say. Three days of silence between them.  
  
It was all his fault. But he couldn't bring himself to break the silence. Like ice, it surrounded him, freezing his tongue.  
  
Carrying his tray, he went to a corner and sat down, activating his padd, pretending to read the words. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hoshi frown in disgust and anger. With little fanfare, she disposed of her tray and left.  
  
In the past, such an action from a woman he'd been involved with would have made him relax. Silence made the complications dissipate, like a fog upon the water. Today, no such relief came. She was gone. Possibly forever from his bed and his personal life. The thought clutched at his heart painfully. Still, he couldn't crack the silence.  
  
"May I join you?" Malcolm looked at Travis, smiling with his usual friendliness.  
  
"I'm not in the mood for company today, Ensign," Malcolm replied sharply.  
  
Travis' smile vanished, replaced by a sternness rarely seen on the younger man's face. "I think you're wrong there, Malcolm."  
  
Malcolm noted the use of his name and not his rank. Travis was his friend, his second best friend after Trip Tucker. Another reminder of how he'd broke his rules about fraternization. Another reminder of how far he'd fallen. Perhaps silence would work to drive the man away.  
  
Malcolm looked down at food and began to eat, ignoring Travis studiously.  
  
Travis sat down and began to eat as well. Wryly, Malcolm wondered if the helmsman was deliberately copying his attitude.  
  
The quiet remained between the two of them, only the clink of cutlery creating a conversation.  
  
As he finished his dessert, Travis leaned forward. "You can't hide forever behind your silence, Malcolm. It may have worked with your parents, it may have worked on the other ships you served on, but it won't work here. You need to talk to her."  
  
Sharply, Malcolm looked up at Travis. "First of all, what is between Ensign Sato and I is none of your concern. Second, what you have said is bordering on insubordination."  
  
Travis crossed his arms against his chest, shaking his head. "Oh, I disagree, Lieutenant," said Travis, stressing the rank with mild derision. "On both counts. It's my concern because you and Hoshi are my best friends on this ship. You're both in pain and you're both too stubborn to fix things between the two of you. I'm not being insubordinate, I'm pointing out the truth to a friend."  
  
Taking a deep breath, Malcolm bit back what he was about to say. Looking up at the ceiling, he counted silently to ten. Meeting Travis' gaze, he said evenly, "Thank you for your concern. Now that you've said what you needed to say, please leave."  
  
Travis shook his head. "No. I'm not done. Malcolm, Hoshi loves you, loves you deeply. What ever happened between the two you, you need to fix it. My father used to say that a man who lets the woman he loves slip away from him is the worst kind of fool. You're being a fool and an ass if you let Hoshi go because you can't get up the courage to speak to her."  
  
Malcolm felt his anger, his embarrassment, and his pride begin to stir. "Travis, I warn you, stop now," he said softly.  
  
"No, I'm not going to stop." Travis paused and his voice became taunting and low. "I know of your reputation before you came on the Enterprise. Malcolm Reed, all business, strict as can be, but a man who never settled for just one woman. Fucked them and left them. That was your rep. Do you really want to add Hoshi to the list of women you merely fucked? Is she just a slut to put your cock in?"  
  
"DON'T YOU DARE REFER TO HOSHI THAT WAY!" roared Malcolm as he bolted up out of his chair, trembling in rage.  
  
Everyone in the messhall froze at the sight of Malcolm standing over Travis, his face red, grabbing the front of the other man's coverall. Travis merely grinned at his friend. "Are you gonna beat the crap out of me, or do you really want to beat the crap out of yourself?"  
  
One by one, Malcolm peeled away his fingers from Travis' clothing. Muscle by muscle, he forced himself to come back under control. Forbiddingly, he looked around the messhall and twenty heads either suddenly bent down to look at their food or away at the galley.  
  
Travis stood and picked up his tray. In a charitable tone he said, "You do love her, or else you wouldn't have reacted. Don't be a fool Malcolm. Go and talk to her. It won't be easy, but my father also used to say that nothing worth it ever is."  
  
Turning away, Travis made for the disposal unit. Malcolm's quiet voice stopped him. "Travis...thank you."  
  
Travis swung around a gave Malcolm a tolerant grin. "You're welcome."  
  
Malcolm waited until Travis left and with trepidation, picked up his own tray. Ignoring the curious looks and veiled glances, he left the messhall and walked around the ship. As he walked he pondered what Travis said. His friend was right, he needed to break the silence between himself and Hoshi. She wasn't like the other women he'd been involved with before. She'd been his friend first and then his lover. That and the fact that he loved her.  
  
He loved Hoshi. He couldn't deny it, couldn't ignore it, couldn't let it wither away in silence.  
  
For an hour or so, he prowled the corridors of Enterprise, trying to find the words to say.  
  
Eventually, Malcolm made his way to Hoshi's quarters.  
  
Standing in front of her door, Malcolm took a deep breath and pressed the chime.  
  
It slid open, revealing Hoshi in her red silk robe, her hair up in a loose bun, tendrils of her hair falling against her neck. The sight made his heart beat faster. She was the most beautiful woman he'd even known.  
  
"May I come in?" he asked, his voice neutral.  
  
Silently, Hoshi stepped aside. Malcolm walked inside, feeling more nervous than he did the night they first made love.  
  
Hoshi closed the door. Eyes narrowed, she sat down at the edge of her bed and crossed her arms. "What do you want?"  
  
Malcolm clasped his hands behind his back and looked at her steadily. "I came because I owe you an apology."  
  
A small half-smile quirked at the corner of Hoshi's mouth. It reminded Malcolm of the Mona Lisa. "So, you're apologizing. Fine. That doesn't fix what happened."  
  
Malcolm nodded stiffly. "I know that. I...I panicked. I didn't expect you to say or ask what you did. I reacted appallingly. A gentleman never bolts from a lady's bed."  
  
Hoshi's half-smile vanished. "Well, now I know how much I spooked you. Apology accepted. You can leave now, knowing that we've broken up in a civilized manner."  
  
Malcolm stared at her for a second. "No, no, Hoshi, that's not what I came here to do!"  
  
She stood up, hurt and anger clearly written on her face. "So, what did you come here to do? To soothe things over enough so you could sleep with me again? That's what this is all about. Isn't it? I'm just a convenient fuck to you!"  
  
Malcolm felt everything crashing down around him as her anger sparked fear in his gut. His first instinct was to be quiet and leave. To let the silence form a permanent wall between them.  
  
Looking at her, Malcolm knew he couldn't do it, yet he had no clue as to what to say.  
  
"Well? Answer me! Goddamn you, Malcolm Reed, answer me!" Hoshi moved forward and peered at his face. Her expression clearly told him that she didn't like what she saw. "Fine. Leave. Now."  
  
Malcolm started to turn, thinking that he'd made a horrible mess of things, the impending loss of her an almost physical blow. He was such a fool.  
  
Something snapped inside his soul.  
  
Whirling back to her, Malcolm growled in a low tone, "Bloody hell, Hoshi, I do love you." He grabbed her and kissed her thoroughly.  
  
For a moment, she was stiff with shock in his arms. With a moan, she kissed him back.  
  
They stripped each other hungrily and made love to each other with a ferocity that left each other breathless.  
  
Afterwards, in one another's arms, Malcolm nuzzled her cheek. "Let's try it again," he murmured.  
  
Hoshi's eyes widened in surprise. "Are you sure?"  
  
He gave a short nod. "Yes."  
  
Her smile warmed his soul to its core. She kissed him tenderly, tears threatening her eyes. "Malcolm, I love you. I love you and I want to marry you. Will you marry me?"  
  
Malcolm kissed her back and brushed his hand against her hair. "I love you, Hoshi. Yes, yes I will."  
  
He kissed her again, not knowing what else to say to her, but determined to show her what he could not say.  
  
He was a quiet man who loved a woman of words. It would be hard for him, but he would learn to say enough to let her see what was in his heart. 


End file.
